BALLISTIC BANANAS!

Or if you want, you can call these bananas BALLTASTIC!
Do you like hot stuff? Do you like ice cream? Do you like bananas? Then EAT ME:

Made from these ingredients:

This delicious dish requires that you chop a habanero pepper and DO NOT TOUCH YOUR EYES OR IMMEDIATELY DECIDE TO REMOVE YOUR CONTACTS FOR SOME REASON cause I did that and it hurts. Saute it in butter for a couple of minutes. Then take two bananas - cut them in half lengthwise, then again the other way. Got that? Eh.
Fry the bananas in butter with the peppers until they look delicious. This won't take long.
Serve the banana, butter and pepper stuff over vanilla ice cream.
Prepare to experience a confusing sensation of extreme heat coupled with extreme cold, kinda like jumping naked into a hot tub after having a snowball fight. Which sounds pretty awesome to me.

Breakfast of Champions 2

Eat Me strongly encourages the use of fried and frozen products, preferably a partnership with a lot of cheese and stuff, in all culinary endeavors. Abby Wintker shared this concoction a while back, and since it's a New Year, Eat Me is back in the swing of things and ready to clog your arteries once more.
Pepper Popper Vegetarian Buffalo Wings Omelette!
1. Thaw desired frozen lard nugs in microwave. Chop. Fry in butter.
2. Start eggs in butter, covered -- it'll be firm in a couple minutes. Onto omelette base place fried nugs, slice of cheddar, and a spoon of cream cheese. Flop over to make the official hot pocket of heart disease.
3. Serve with tater tots and a Silver Bullet.

Nyquil Sundae

With flu season approaching, perhaps you need to figure out a way to down your Nyquil in a more satisfying way. Or just when you thought you were too mature for the good old days of robo-tripping, an adult treat has stumbled into your psyche thanks to LifeHacker. Let the flu season and the cough syrup dreams begin! Here's to over the counter hallucinogens! Enjoy!

What's inside? Here's the recipe:

1 tablespoon / dose cup of Nyquil
1 piece spearmint Candy
2 tablespoons of water
Vanilla ice cream
Cool Whip frozen topping
Chocolate sauce
1 strawberry

For the complete directions visit:

http://lifehacker.com/5848319/turn-unpalatable-medicine-into-a-delicious-dessert

Deep Fried Kool-Aid Balls

That's what I said.
In other Kool-Aid related news, check out this awesome comic

Regarding Smoky Links

Thank you Jason Groth (and Cher from Bettendorf?), for sharing this:

Canned corn beef shortage ends

Q: Can you find the reason stores no longer stock canned corned beef? There’s the hash but nothing else. Also, why Oscar Mayer doesn’t produce Smoky Links anymore. There are cocktail size, but that’s it.
— Cher, Bettendorf
A: Ruth Comer, spokeswoman for Hy-Vee Foods, said their stores now are carrying canned corned beef after about a year without it. Last May, she said there was a nationwide shortage “so the product was out of stock most of the time.”
“Now, production is back up to normal and warehouses are stocked. If you can’t find it in a store, you can ask them to order it because our warehouses have them,” she said.
The shortage was due to a recall of some canned corned beef produced in Brazil. She said some corned beef was tested, and it was determined some contained a drug used to treat cows for parasites. The U.S. Food, Safety and Inspection Services halted all imports of canned corned beef into this country from Brazil until recently.
Regarding Smoky Links, Joyce Hodyl, corporate spokeswoman for Kraft Foods, which owns Oscar Mayer, said: “We had a loyal following for the product, but not enough to sustain production of them.”

Well, we failed on that front. But viva la canned corn beef!

THIS IS MY POINT

Crazy Alcohol Rainbow Pig

Awesome things about this video:
1. Four Loko is described as "alcoholic unicorn blood"
2. It is about chili
3. "Bacon's on sale, so we get it all"
4. "Someone's gonna die tonight eating chili"
5. The use of Ms. Vicki's Jalapeno Chips
6. BACON TROUGH
7. "Dominant species mixes inferior species in a pot... to eat"
8. A BACON CUP that incorporates basketweaving techniques. Only it's baconweaving.
9. Fries and cheese. Mountains of chili. Deep-fried Jalapeno chip-coated cheesesticks OH MY GOD
10. "Drizzle some Four Loko into the orifices"
11. BACON CUP OF FOUR LOKO
12. He eats it with a paddle
13. "Tastes like crazy alcohol rainbow pig"
Eat Me hands over the reins to Epic Meal Time. Sigh.
Also check out:
Fast Food Lasagna
Meatball Deathstar cause "It's been awhile since I had the meat sweats" featuring "Vegetables! (Sorry, green decorative bullshit)" and "Pancetta! Cause bacon was busy. We still cool, though"
and
Breakfast of Booze in which we cut up some ham and wrap it in bacon and deep fry it in beer batter. With chocolate chip bacon beer waffles - "That's smart."
WE USED A LOT OF JACK DANIELS. A LOT. CAUSE WE DON'T FUCK AROUND AT BREAKFAST.
Sorry this post is a rambling quotefest, but I am beside myself over this shit.