"Regardless of What Happens to the Pigs..."

Hormel treats pregnant pigs like shit so we can enjoy a big tub of Spam. . Who knew?! The best part of this story is the understatement of the century: "Regardless of what happens to the pigs, the processing of Spam could use some serious improvement." Uh, I don't think so, dude. Leave that shit alone.
If you're gonna eat Spam, and that's a long shot, I know, you don't even want to think about what it is, how it was made, or where it came from. You just wanna slice it up, fry it, and put it on some white bread. Pretty sure I'm right about that one. That was lunch at my Grandma's house, and it was fine with me.
For the Spam connoisseurs out there, you might wanna try these delicious flavors (I'm sure they're all PORKTASTIC!)

SPAM SPREAD
SPAM LITE!
SPAM. WITH CHEESE.
Spam.com (which seems like a dangerous website to visit, but whatever, get spammed) has a recipe exchange where you can learn how to make Spambalaya, Dutch Oven Spam Spuds (uhhh....), Spam Gravy, and "Fancy Spam Appetizer Sandwiches" a recipe title that contains the most oxymorons I've ever seen strung together.
It's almost Super Bowl Sunday, and I suggest you just take Spam. Everyone will love you. Everyone loves Spam. It's Spamtastic. Get Spammed. Have a Spammy Day. Spread that Spam. Get your Spam on. Your underwear.
It's early. This is the first thing I decided to do today. So, Spam Off.